Salina

The little bundle held heavy in her arms. She wasn't sure if it was because her arms had gotten tired or because the rain water had added to the weight of her bundle. Either way, there was nothing she could do now.

She kept her head low and quickened her pace. It wouldn't do to slow down now. It wouldn't do to catch cold and pass it on to the little bundle she carried. There had been no sound or movement in a while, she hoped that it meant that there was no trouble.

The thought made her panic though and she was tempted to poke at the bundle with her finger. She didn't though. She figured there was nothing she could do to change anything. If she hurried, she might make it before the last bus but she worried that she might slip and fall.

She slowed her pace now and looked down at the bundle she carried.  A lone tear undisturbed by the light rain drops slipped onto the baby blanket. It was not going to be just as difficult as she had thought, it was going to be hell.

There had been a time....she shook her head, she would not allow for the thoughts to come. This was her reality now.

Her eyes moved over the bundle, should she shake it a little? See if it made any noise? She jumped as she heard a noise behind her. She made out the form of a woman walking quickly toward her. Should she walk faster in case she brought harm or should she stay still and wait?

She turned and continued at her pace. The woman walked quickly past her, holding what looked like a large stick in her hand. Salina watched her walk a while and quickened her own pace. There was safety in numbers she thought. But the faster she walked, the more the stitches hurt. Her body wasn't ready yet. Her body would not be ready for a long time. She didn't know if that mattered anymore.

She felt the slow trickle between her thighs. Her head began to pound. Fear gripped her and she started to mutter a prayer under her breath. She knew that all too warm slow trickle, and she knew what it meant. The stitches had come undone, again, and she was beginning to bleed. Her five day old bundle was barely holding on and her 15 year old broken battered body was betraying her. She felt the tears begin to well up and spat. The bitter taste in her mouth wouldn't go. She spat again and pulled the baby closer.

The little warmth she had felt emanating from the baby at the start of their journey had slowly given way to the cold. The fear that clutched at her began to pull. She fell to the hard wet ground and pulled away the blanket that held her baby. She knew then that it was futile. She let out a wail and she began to rock the baby. There were no sound from him.

The woman ahead turned and ran back to her but Salina didn't notice now. She stared into space and cried, rocking the still body of her baby and wondering about how cruel it all was. The woman started to speak. And when she saw Salina wouldn't hear her, she began to drag her off the road hand over Salina's mouth. The loud wails from Salina were bound to draw trouble to them.

It didn't make sense. Hadn't she prayed against this baby? Hadn't she cried hard and done everything in her power to make sure there would be no baby? But no, none of it had worked and so She had taken the months of shame, she had held her peace when they had kicked her out, hadn't she known they would? She had known he would do the same too, but he had surprised her. He had taken her to a little room and told her he would visit her here and he had.

He had shown up every week with food and things. After the baby was born, he had come to take it away and asked her to go back home. But she couldn't then, she had been drawn to this life that had come from her. She couldn't leave him. She had taken the beatings in the last three days for every time she showed up at his house where his woman stared down at her and called her names. Until finally she had managed to run away with her baby after they allowed her to hold him for a few minutes.

She had taken him with her to the house of a sympathetic neighbor and sworn her to silence with half the money she had. And then he had gotten ill. Shaking and vomiting. Refusing her breast and crying endlessly.

She stared at the lifeless form she held and slowly looked up at the woman who was begging her to be quiet. What was the point of it. She held up her baby and showed her. The woman turned away and refused to see. Salina stood up and slowly walked the way she had come. She left the woman who wouldn't even look at her child. She would find a place to put the baby and then she would find a thing to do with herself.