A few days ago...well, it has been more than a few days, someone told me that I ate and ate and grew fat. It is a story I have heard over the last couple of years.
Did I take offence?
No. I do not take offence about my weight anymore. I am fortunate enough to own a mirror and eyes to see every morning and evening as I do my affirmations.
My biggest worry about weight has always been not being able to run up the stairs without breathing heavily, feeling faint and not fitting into things I like.
In the last couple of years, I have run up the stairs, felt faint, fallen down, failed to fit into my favourite dress and now, my offspring thinks playing with my stomach is a game.
"Mommy, can I play with your big stomach? "
"Mommy, can I play with your big stomach? "
I say no.
He jumps on my bed, lifts my shirt and sits his head on my stomach for a few minutes as though listening for something, then he starts drumming on it with his hands.
It was annoying at first, because I really did have quite a belly, not the flexible one that belly dancers have, but that one with extra flab hanging around smoking a joint and counting sheep.
On top of the belly was the arms! Aaargghhhh, that is the worst. I worried, even when I was small, that I might be one of those people with upper arms that can do a dance even with no music. Now here I was, loose flesh touching my waist and doing a happy jiggle at every turn.
I struggled I tell you.
These stages of grief, well, they apply here too.
I had to explain to myself that I did not just eat my way into fat.
I did eat. Yes I did.
But that is not all I did.
For three years, I had a swollen knee which would give way randomly.
Imagine walking and minding your own business and next thing you know, your knee just seems to crack and you're on the floor. Very little pain, just a knee that would swell at any attempt to exercise or just land you on your bum.
So I read about it, because that is what I do, read about my fears and situations.
The gym instructor after a few sessions suggested I wear a knee brace. I wore one. Ugly red thing peeping through my clothes. A friend visiting from the US gave me theirs. It gave me a bit of relief, enough anyway to start my new workout with an instructor who gave attention to my troubles.
My leg is great now, and there I am, spending the evenings I can trying to clean up the years of fat sitting om my stomach.
In the eighth week, I was minding my business when the offspring crept up on me.
"Can I sleep on your small stomach mommy?"
"Sure!...Wait a minute, did you say small stomach?"
"Small stomach mommy."
I had not realised it! The stomach had reduced so much that he noticed too!
I am a little sad. I asked someone why the offspring was very attached to my stomach. She said it probably reminded them of their first home and that it was a bonding moment for them.
So while my stomach pr.......Edit - I left this story unfinished like so many others and no I have no idea what I wanted to say. I wrote this in 2020, May 4th and 12:04....gosh....this was many years ago. Today, I publish this incomplete story - 2024.
But that is not all I did.
For three years, I had a swollen knee which would give way randomly.
Imagine walking and minding your own business and next thing you know, your knee just seems to crack and you're on the floor. Very little pain, just a knee that would swell at any attempt to exercise or just land you on your bum.
So I read about it, because that is what I do, read about my fears and situations.
The gym instructor after a few sessions suggested I wear a knee brace. I wore one. Ugly red thing peeping through my clothes. A friend visiting from the US gave me theirs. It gave me a bit of relief, enough anyway to start my new workout with an instructor who gave attention to my troubles.
My leg is great now, and there I am, spending the evenings I can trying to clean up the years of fat sitting om my stomach.
In the eighth week, I was minding my business when the offspring crept up on me.
"Can I sleep on your small stomach mommy?"
"Sure!...Wait a minute, did you say small stomach?"
"Small stomach mommy."
I had not realised it! The stomach had reduced so much that he noticed too!
I am a little sad. I asked someone why the offspring was very attached to my stomach. She said it probably reminded them of their first home and that it was a bonding moment for them.
So while my stomach pr.......Edit - I left this story unfinished like so many others and no I have no idea what I wanted to say. I wrote this in 2020, May 4th and 12:04....gosh....this was many years ago. Today, I publish this incomplete story - 2024.
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