Friday, January 15, 2016

Neighbor, did you see?

I know you can hear me, you, in your little room across.
I know you heard me an hour ago when i started to scream.
I know that you are troubled, mostly by the noise i am making but also by the guilt.
You watched it all i am sure.
Perhaps you covered your eyes at a point where it turned gruesome but i am sure you watched the free show.
I will continue to scream, perhaps somebody else will come.
If they do not, i hope that even as i die, the guilt of what you stood by and watched, stays with you forever.
No, i take that back.

Perhaps you were scared too. Rightfully so.
If you had come out at my first screams, i am certain you would be in the same state as i am now or even worse.
I guess it makes no sense to be angry at you now that i think about it.
You probably were hunched in a little corner in your room shaking and silently praying no one would come to your door.
There is nothing you could have done.
I forgive you.

But help me now, they have been gone many minutes now, surely it is safe enough for you to come out now, even for a few minutes, bring me a blanket, a towel, anything.
Let me not die alone.
I saw a movement last night, right after i screamed and as the man held me pressed again the wall.
I screamed and looked helplessly about and thats when i saw the curtain move.
I screamed louder.
I hoped you would scream too perhaps, or come out.
But now that i think about it, come out and do what? You're just a girl, like me.

The man was really angry.
He asked me to shut up but who keeps quiet when they are going to die?
I screamed louder and he pushed my head, rather hit it against the pale yellow cracked walls of this dinge we call home.
The other man, the one who had grabbed my bag threw a metal right next to me and i saw this man pick it up.
I had heard of them.
These men with the iron bars.
I just never thought they came to places like this where there was clearly nothing to steal.
I guess, if you are out for blood, you are out for blood, it doesn't matter if its clothed in riches or poverty.

I was still screaming when it hit me the first, second, third, fourth time.
They didn't hit my head, i do not know why.
I figure that is what you go for if you want someone dead.
After a while, they left and that was it.
I have no idea what they could have wanted from me, i had nothing.
They didn't rape me. I am a skinny little thing for my 24years. Perhaps even they get to be picky.
I stopped screaming when my body couldn't cope anymore but now i need to make some sort of noise and hope that someone will hear and come help me.

2 comments:

  1. glad to have you back.....i hear you!

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  2. 2016 - a new year - you can now write about happy things. Sadness, grief, pain and depression can be contagious if you keep them company. Besides, a Christian is a person of hope because God is above all.

    ReplyDelete